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Playgrounds are a cross-section of mothers everywhere.  Find a busy one, and just sit back and observe.  There’s the crunchy mom with her hemp sling and protective sun gear following her other child around with an organic guava.  There are preppy moms with kids in Lily Pulitzer outfits and strollers that cost more than my car.  There are desperate moms, the ones that look like they haven’t seen a shower in days, who tote around kids who have ice cream stains on their shirts at 10 in the morning. 

I could go on and on and on.  None of these mothers is better or worse than the next, but I enjoy watching the interaction among such different people with such similar circumstances.  I mean there must be some common thread.  We are all at the same park, at the same time of day, with children similar in age.  We must be able to find some common ground. 

Instead of pitying the mom who looks the worst, perhaps we should watch how she takes time to really interact with her children while she is there.  I bet she does the same thing at home, which is why she hasn’t made it to the shower or managed to get any laundry done.  She is focusing on what is truly most important and letting the other stuff slide.  Or, perhaps she is a filthy slob and didn’t shower or do laundry before she had kids.  I’m going to go with that.  It just makes me feel better.  Kidding.  It’s true though.  It’s often easier to fold a load of laundry than to sit down and have a tea party. 

Or instead of hating the mom who looks like she just came from the gym and has children in perfectly matched outfits, maybe we should ask her for tips.  She’s clearly got some kind of system going, or a nanny hidden somewhere.  Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to figure out how to be a little more pulled together.  Maybe she’s looking for somewhere to donate her children’s outgrown designer clothing or a new running partner.  I’m in for the clothing and out for the running. 

And crunchy mom?  What an amazing resource!  Talk to her.  Find out what she’s into.  She is probably full of information from local farmers’ markets to the latest studies on sunscreen.  Seriously, think of the time you just saved researching stuff. 

Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover all the time, but it’s usually a pretty good clue.  How difficult is it to be a tiny bit social in a place swarming with women in a similar season of life?  Everyone has something to offer, if you just take the time to find out what it is.  If more moms were willing to do this, we probably wouldn’t need to spend as much time organizing playdates and joining groups.  We could just show up and enjoy each other’s company.  And instead of being cornered into a mothering genre, we could celebrate that there’s no one way to be a good mom.  Say hello, make a friend. 

Feel free to start here.  Leave a comment.  Tell me something about yourself or your kids.  I’m clearly desperate!