Top Ten Signs I’m Officially Old
10. The kids talk about events in the past and insist I won’t remember because it happened when “you were twenty.”
9. I celebrated my birthday with an early bird dinner at Jason’s Deli.
8. I was nervous things were getting too wild when we started a movie after 9pm.
7. After opening presents, I had the urge to box everything back up and save it for a special occasion.
6. I felt tears welling as the kids sang Happy Birthday.
5. I had to renew my driver’s license even though I was sure I had just done it the other day, which was actually five years ago.
4. My favorite gift was a Tempurpedic pillow.
3. I remember thinking my mom was old when she turned my age. (No wonder the kids speak nostalgically of my twenties.)
2. My kids made a collage of me to emphasize how much I’ve changed. It frightened us all.
1. I texted my friend in preparation for our celebratory overnight to the city: “Do you mind packing tweezers and nose hair scissors?”