Back to school night was yesterday at #1′s school, and while I deeply care about his education, I had no desire to go. Actually, I did want to go, but I was more in the mood for a private tour of the school followed by a one-on-one conversation with his teacher, and I would have preferred to have worn pajamas. Unfortunately, that invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, and I was forced to join the hoards of eager parents in a space better suited for people who weigh less than 50 pounds.
It was all that led up to the event that really got me in an unpleasant place. In the two-hours prior to the event, I needed to pick up #1 from school, have him do his homework, feed three kids, and give three kids a bath, as well as continue my frenzied cleaning of the house so that the babysitter didn’t think we were animals. By the time Mr. I. walked in, I was at my breaking point. We had a friendly exchange in which he questioned the necessity of me showering before the event and told me nearly a billion times how excited he was to attend. Both subjects irritated me equally.
When we finally made it out the door, I tried relaxing. I had gotten everything done I needed to do, and by some miracle, we were on time. As we arrived at the school, I took a deep breath, and willed myself to make the best of our very first back to school. I felt the corners of my mouth starting to make their way up to at least a horizontal position.
And then out of nowhere, a female politician (FP) grabbed my hand and said, “Hi Mom! I’d really appreciate your vote in November.”
My near-smile retreated, and was replaced by my most serious glare because there are three people in this world who should be calling me “mom,” and I was pretty sure they were home in bed.
So, no, FP, you won’t be getting my vote come November, unless you can somehow prove that your journey to this world began in my uterus. Otherwise, save yourself a handshake and a smile, and let me walk on by, although my husband is appreciative that you redirected my anger from him to you. You’ll definitely get his vote.