My Duties

2 Jun

It’s interesting to find out how different families divide responsibilities. For instance, you may assume that because I “don’t work”, I am responsible for all things domestic. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. For the most part, I take care of these tasks, but there are certain things that I am not in charge of. Two of those things are paper products and soap.

We never sat down and distributed chores. How ridiculous would it have been for me to have said, “I think I can manage literally everything other than making money, but there is no possible way I can squeeze Softsoap and Bounty purchasing onto my to-do list.”

It’s just one of those strange things that has evolved over time. Mr. Incredible has some fascination with soaps, bar soaps, handsoaps, dishsoaps, and also all things paper. Paper bags, paper towels, napkins, and toilet paper. Arguably, he purchases the items we absolutely cannot live without. I take for granted that he will buy these items and that he will choose wisely. In fact, until recently, I didn’t know that making these purchases required any thought and special skill set.

A few months ago, I took it upon myself to procure toilet paper for the home. I wasn’t sure that we actually needed it, but I was just in that general area of the store and thought I would surprise Mr. I by getting some. I knew he would be so impressed by my ability to juggle my own responsibilities AND manage to get toilet paper into the home, so I bought what I thought was a standard amount of tp.

One thing you should know about me before I continue on with this, is that when I shop, my cart never stops moving. I don’t mull over purchases. I loathe the grocery store and only manage this dreadful task by getting in and out as quickly as humanly possible. This usually works out, but there are times I’ve purchased heavy whipping cream instead of half and half or grabbed denture glue instead of toothpaste. No big deal.

Because of the speed at which I shop and the fact that I have never purchased toilet paper, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I somehow purchased 1/6th ply toilet paper in a quantity that can never run out. I bet you didn’t even know toilet paper came in 1/6th ply. I didn’t either. Even in a gas station potty emergency, I’ve always used at least 1/2ply.

If you wonder what the consistency of this toilet paper is like, imagine wiping with your bare hand, but with the added annoyance of little pieces of wet paper stuck to your hand whenever you are finished. I don’t even understand how this product is on the market. I do know, however, that a roll of this stuff lasts approximately 3 months. With any luck, we should run out of the case within 72 months.

There are mistakes that you can learn from and there are mistakes you pay for the rest of your life. Trying to overstep my domestic duties has proven to be one I will be paying for for a very long time. In the meantime, I have gotten over my public toilet phobia and am happy to use the full-ply toilet paper any establishment, other than my own home, provides.

One Response to “My Duties”

  1. Poppy June 2, 2014 at 9:38 pm #

    Remind me not to shake your hand. ;)

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